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In the GRIMDARKNESS of the GRIMDARK GRIMDARK: The 40K Thread


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#99 Fallen

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Posted 11 November 2014 - 11:08 PM

you lost me


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#100 Ingen

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Posted 11 November 2014 - 11:37 PM

Black Science Man

 

Spoiler

 

The point, incidentally, isn't to make fun of the guy himself but the euphoric folks who treat him, well like the immortal emperor of mankind I guess.  Or really that would be Sagan and I guess BSM would be a primarch or something.


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#101 Travis Uchonela

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 12:25 AM

Black Science Man

Spoiler


The point, incidentally, isn't to make fun of the guy himself but the euphoric folks who treat him, well like the immortal emperor of mankind I guess. Or really that would be Sagan and I guess BSM would be a primarch or something.

Or just be glad he got some randoms hyped about science briefly.

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#102 Fallen

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 12:27 AM

Black Science Man

 

Spoiler

 

The point, incidentally, isn't to make fun of the guy himself but the euphoric folks who treat him, well like the immortal emperor of mankind I guess.  Or really that would be Sagan and I guess BSM would be a primarch or something.

 

There is so much heresy here I...


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#103 Ingen

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 12:36 AM

Or just be glad he got some randoms hyped about science briefly.

 

Oh I am.  To be clear, I like NDT and I'm glad he's out there getting people interested in science.  That's good shit.  Problem is like a lot of other science advocates he steps beyond his expertise from time to time and he slips.  He's nowhere close to the level of Harris or Dawkins in that department, but he's had some cringe worthy moments.  But on the whole, solid dude.  The euphoric ratheist masses, on the other hand, they're just awful.


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#104 Fallen

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 12:49 AM

HEY YOU FUCKS TAKE THIS NONSENSE TO YOUR OWN AUTISM THREAD THIS ONE IS MINE.


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#105 Ingen

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 01:00 AM

Space Marines are a bunch of bitches.  Inquisition is bitches.  Guardsmen is mega bitches.  All Imperium is bitches.

 

Orks is best.

 

You can't stop the green.


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#106 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 11:22 AM

I like the Tau because they are closest to our 21st century ideals.

This is good because they get shit stomped all the time by the much more grimdark factions. Take that Japan.

I do like in the first Gaunt book he rallies the ghosts with a cry of "Come on men, do you all want to live forever?".

Then in one of the Cain books he sees a squad charge a tank with the Sergeant shouting that and thinks it was a mad phrase only seen in badly written novels.

SHOTS FIRED

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#107 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 11:24 AM

Dan Abnett does annoy my inner need sometimes though. Human scout kills a dreadnought using mainly a lasgun. Human guy carries and fires a heavy bolter without power armour.

Also the one that really annoys me: Esienhorn keeps smiling!

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#108 Ingen

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 03:42 PM

I do like in the first Gaunt book he rallies the ghosts with a cry of "Come on men, do you all want to live forever?".

Then in one of the Cain books he sees a squad charge a tank with the Sergeant shouting that and thinks it was a mad phrase only seen in badly written novels.

SHOTS FIRED

 

Those might be shots fired at Robert Heinlein who famously used "Come on, you apes, you want to live forever?" in Starship Troopers and is also the source from which Space Marines were basically lifted wholesale.


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#109 Fallen

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 04:29 PM

Tell me why Alpharius isnt the coolest primarch?


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#110 Travis Uchonela

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 07:57 PM

Wait what is this thread even for

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#111 Maqari

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Posted 14 November 2014 - 12:07 AM

Tell me why Alpharius isnt the coolest primarch?

 

Because Lorgar, Dorn, and Perturabo exist.



#112 Fallen

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Posted 14 November 2014 - 12:30 AM

Because Lorgar, Dorn, and Perturabo exist.

 

haha no Lorgar was manipulated by Erebus of all people making him a dope, Dorn is a righteous cunt and Perturabo is insane.

 

Im Alpharius, hes Alpharius, youre Alpharius, were all Alpharius.


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#113 ocrumsprug

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Posted 14 November 2014 - 02:37 AM

Im Alpharius, hes Alpharius, youre Alpharius, were all Alpharius.

 

Except for that dude, he's Omegon.


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#114 ocrumsprug

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Posted 14 November 2014 - 02:37 AM

Im Alpharius, hes Alpharius, youre Alpharius, were all Alpharius.

 

Im Omegon.


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#115 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 14 November 2014 - 09:51 AM

Sanguinius was the best Primarch because he snapped a bloodthirster's back over his knee in mid air and he had the balls to fight hours even though he knew he was going to die.

Also fucking angel wings man.

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#116 Fallen

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Posted 14 November 2014 - 07:32 PM

Yeah Sanguinius was p coo but he wasn't Alpharius coo


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#117 Maqari

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Posted 15 November 2014 - 01:57 PM

haha no Lorgar was manipulated by Erebus of all people making him a dope, Dorn is a righteous cunt and Perturabo is insane.

 

Im Alpharius, hes Alpharius, youre Alpharius, were all Alpharius.

 

I don't know duder, Chaos in 40k wouldn't be what it is without Lorgar's corruption of Horus and the idea of a schizo daemon prince who happens to be a nearly CREED-tier tactical genius is pretty neato.



#118 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 15 November 2014 - 05:22 PM

Yeah Sanguinius was p coo but he wasn't Alpharius coo


Alpharius got schooled by the Ultramarines. Anyone who gets schooled by the Mary Sues of 40K is not as good as Sanguinius.

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#119 Fallen

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Posted 15 November 2014 - 09:17 PM

You are so dumb.

Alpharius is literally playing the Ultramarines as fools as I type this.

There is an actual chance that Roboute Gulliman is, in fact, Alpharius.

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#120 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 15 November 2014 - 09:52 PM

The puppet master thing has always seemed a bit weak to me, like it's the type of misdirection the Alpha Legion would use to cover up the fact they were schooled. 


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#121 Fallen

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Posted 15 November 2014 - 11:03 PM

Thats what they wanted you to think.

 

Now youre schooled.


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#122 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 12:45 PM

see? lazy story writing 


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#123 stronke

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 01:43 PM

I do not know why but I always had a week spot for Magnus the Red, even tho Sanguinius is and always will be my homeboy. 



#124 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 02:54 PM

It's because Magnus tried hard to help the emperor and was shunned because of it.

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#125 stronke

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 02:55 PM

Yeah, he seemed like a really good guy but due the way he was treated by some of his "brother" primarchs he had no choice really but to side with Horus.



#126 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 02:58 PM

Yeah but chaos corrupts so even if he was a good guy he's now a heretic. Let the purges begin!

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#127 stronke

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Posted 16 November 2014 - 03:00 PM

He did not get corrupted that bad, he just turned into and deamon prince now serving Theech lolo



#128 Fallen

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Posted 18 November 2014 - 11:52 PM

Just finished First and Only and man that was good. Going to continue the series with Ghostmaker and take a break from the Cain stuff for a bit. 

 

That being said, how the fuck did Gaunt and Cain get through Schola? Im p sure that one of the prerequisites to graduate to cadet commissar out of schola is some particularly fucked up instructors actually have you execute under-performing classmates for the lulz. I cant see either of these dudes (at this point) executing someone for getting a B- in "Slaaneshi Cultists 101: No that isn't a 3rd titty". If it happens and I just havent gotten to it dont ruin it for me but damn, I just dont see it.


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#129 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 09:17 AM

The fact is the imperium is so huge writers can do what they want.

I mean I've never seen it written that a Commissar cadet has to execute someone to graduate, nevermind a fellow student, but I could imagine it being a thing.

Can explains he went through the Schola and basically graduated as a young adult, but not before having won his right to pick his assignment via an illegal poker game. He also talks about all the students playing pranks on each other and having a good old time on the scrum ball pitch.

Gaunt talks about his Schola as a more serious place, with his friend (can't remember his name) from the Commissariat basically being a bit misbehaved and bringing Gaunt along for the ride. He then has to be a cadet under the gaze of a full commissisar (a so called Commissar General no less, a rank that exists no where else are the idea of the Commissariat is you're all the same rank and seniority is determined by length of service).

So as you can see there's huge differences even between Cain and Gaunt. Other Commissars in novels are portrayed differently still but not in as much detail.

The Plot Hole Filler that is used for this is that the Schola is ran by the Church which is huge and bureaucratic and thus each Schola (or group of Scholas) is ran however the teachers seem fit.

Therefore if you want a story about a commissar who was told to execute a fellow student to graduate you can do. If you want to write about the Schola as if it's a British boarding school you can do etc.

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#130 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 09:19 AM

Tbh Gaunt novels are some of the least realistic depictions of the 40K "norm" out of all the novels I've read. Fucking good stories though.

If you haven't already read it by the way read Cadian Blood. It's not part of a series or anything but it's a fantastic book about Cadians who I liked before they were cool (i.e. I collected them when all the models were metal)

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#131 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 09:20 AM

Also Cain can and will execute people. He does it in the very first novel. So does Gaunt in fact.

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#132 stronke

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 01:22 PM

bitches please the only commisar that really mathers is Yarrick



#133 Ingen

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 03:17 PM

My favorite space marine chapter:

 

Spoiler

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#134 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 05:12 PM

bitches please the only commisar that really mathers is Yarrick


Yarrick is just a poster boy now, not even a real Commissar.

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#135 Fallen

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 05:25 PM

If you haven't already read it by the way read Cadian Blood. It's not part of a series or anything but it's a fantastic book about Cadians who I liked before they were cool (i.e. I collected them when all the models were metal)

 

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#136 Fallen

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 05:25 PM

Seriously though I will check it out. I have it just havent gotten to it.


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#137 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 05:53 PM

It's quite a short book tbh, so it's nice to read between shit like the trilogies. 

 

It's also pretty much the only good Guard short story. I have one called "42 hours" or something, but it's basically just WW1 in space, so it's not great writing.

 

Cadian Blood shows you how bad ass the Cadians are though. They aren't Space Marines but they are fucking awesome.  


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#138 AsHenDo

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 05:56 PM

Do they ride horses and drink maypul sirrip?

LOL I have sigs disabled


#139 stronke

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 06:16 PM

Yarrick is just a poster boy now, not even a real Commissar.

 

touche



#140 stronke

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 06:17 PM

anyone read the penalty legion books? I greatly enjoyed those.



#141 ocrumsprug

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 06:48 PM

anyone read the penalty legion books? I greatly enjoyed those.

 

I am not a fan of that author's writing, and I thought the second and third books were a bit weak since the premise of storming through the gates of impossible odds loses something once you know what the dudes secret is at the end of the first book.


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#142 stronke

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Posted 19 November 2014 - 08:40 PM

hater



#143 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 20 November 2014 - 09:23 AM

Do they ride horses and drink maypul sirrip?


No. They are born on a world that is in the mouth of the eye of terror (i.e. Where all the bad stuff lives) and right in the path of the only truly safe way in and out for the Chaos armies.

As such it's probably the single most important world in the entire Imperium other than Terra itself.

Ages ago Chaos invaded and like burned down most the cities, which were American style grid systems. They realised this wasn't defensible though so they all live in fortress cities called Kasr which have huge towering walls and zig zapped streets (look up WW1 trench systems, that zig zag design was used for the same reason just apply it to a city).

Every Cadian male or female is drafted into the military in some form, and they all learn how to strip and rebuild a lasgun before they are 5. They are arguably the best trained Guardsmen in the entire Imperium.

The Kasrkin are their equivalent of the I stormtroopers. Normal Stormtroopers are basically the SAS and are trained in the Schola from birth. The Cadians have their own version (the Kasrkin) who are to other stormtroopers what Cadians are to normal Guardsmen. Bad ass as fuck.

My favourite moment in Cadian Blood is a commissar meets with a captain in the Cadian regiment and is like "Is it always so quiet in your camp?" and the Cadian replies "Well sir, it is 5am" and the commissar says "Ah, the men are asleep?" and he just laughs at him and says "No, they are training". It turns out the entire regiment, including senior officers, get up at like 5am every day and start training drills.

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#144 Fallen

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Posted 20 November 2014 - 03:56 PM

Mars would like a word with you.

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#145 Fallen

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Posted 20 November 2014 - 05:18 PM

Just finished Legion. Aside from the 1st 3 in the HH series, this is my favorite so far. Its good the entire time.

 

I also refuse to believe that the Alpha Legion are truly Chaos. I get that they are fighting for Chaos at this point BUT I totes believe they are ~undercover~. I know there is shit to refute this BUT I BELIEVE.


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#146 Fallen

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Posted 20 November 2014 - 05:20 PM

Also lets rank xenos by MOST DICK-ISH:

 

1) Eldar

2) everyone not eldar or orcs

3) Orcs (dey just avin a giggle ya git)


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#147 Inquisitor Kitchner

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Posted 20 November 2014 - 05:24 PM

What do you define as dickish?

On the one hand the Eldar are all like "man we know we could change the future and shit but we are allyl dooooooomed so we wont". That's pretty dickish.

On the other hand the Necrons have robots that will stab you to death, skin you, and then prance around wearing your skin.
That's also pretty dickish .

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