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The Alex Clomsaver Thread by Alex Clomsaver


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#1 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 04:08 AM

Here is interesting stuff that I have done or seen over the past two weeks:

 

I used to have dreams where my brother stole my girlfriend or such but found out that he was gay like two years ago so the dreams stopped, or at least they changed. My latest version has had him and his boyfriend beating me in a three legged race where I was forced to team up with some guy who hated me.

 

I had another dream which featured me watching a film which I then assumed the main character's idenity in. These dreams are always the best because in them I can both show how stupid popular culture is and do "weirder" stuff than I would normally do. This one featured me as an extremely wimpy guy (played by a coworkers husband!,) my girl friend and a cool biker guy going out west to solve a murder. Except we only make it to our first stop Chicago. While there I go grocery shopping, visit old professors and classmates, catch my girlfriend blatantly flirting with the biker and break up with her. Despondent I decide to give a half hearted attempt at solving the murder myself but a hired thug was about to beat me up/kill me before I woke up. Also I had to walk through the shitty part of town late at night and it was like a parody of gritty urban documentaries.

 

A coworker's wife was hired on. He looks a bit girly so I was totally shocked when she showed up looking very manly. I loved it!

 

I pointed out that a friend's name, when abrieviated the right way, sounds like a porn star name.

 

I had a horrible shit in a McDonalds and the flush wasn't good enough. It was a scanner toilet and I just could not get it to flush again, there was a line so I walked out appologizing to the guy behind me. I tried to hustle my dad out of the store so I wouldn't have to look the guy in the eye when he came out but the food wasn't done in time. Thankfully I got out of there but saw him walking out of the store as I was driving off. I am tempted to leave that McD's negative feedback on their website over it.

 

Playing an Ironman Crusader Kings II game right now as Hungary/Carpathia. It started weird with William the Bastard (Conquerer) failing to conquer England but then usurping the French throne instead. Aquitaine broke away and is currently one of only four surviving count or higher level opponents. The Danish also tried and failed to conquer England. Of the main houses of Europe only the Jimenas and whoever the main Swedish house was actually amounted to anything. Aquitaine, HRE, the Ilkhanate and the eastern Indian Empire are the only current survivors and only the Ilkhanite and HRE should pose any difficulty.  Ilkhanite especially since they went Christian, there's no way to naturally usurp their Empire so I have to just assassinate, assassinate, assassinate and hope that I kill enough of them to get it. Granted I have like 150 years left... For HRE its the same deal but eventually I'll get a critical mass of territory and usurp their title, at which point I can just conquer the individual dutchies.



#2 shallot

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 06:25 AM

interesting


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#3 shallot

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 06:25 AM

i lied


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#4 Daruna

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 09:21 AM

it's back

 

:unsmith:


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"You see that nigga turnin', You feel the bullet burnin', Nigga now you learnin'." - Duke Martin Luther King Jr, in his speech Brave New World
(7:16:42 PM) richterenderas:
dirk_action is a perpetuator of the socialist cause and a powerful ak-47 wardancer

#5 Badass

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 11:14 AM

Never be ashamed of your poops
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#6 larowin

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 11:42 AM

:unsmith:


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#7 Chinchy McPawn

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 12:09 PM

same


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#8 leetcheese

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 02:25 PM

:unsmith:


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#9 Ingen

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 02:27 PM

i agree


공산주의가 이길 것이다.

 

Spoiler

#10 Weedlord BonerHitler

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 06:20 PM

never shit where you eat



#11 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 11:25 PM

The other day I was looking at pretty women on the internet and I found one that looked shockingly, horrifyingly like me. Similar eyes, same hair except longer and a little bit chunky but not fat (which, in her case, meant that she was super skinny except for her big honkin' breasts.) I attempted a fap but it just wasn't happening. Too close to home, you know.



#12 stronke

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 11:52 PM

you could of full filled that incest fantasy and pretended that it was your twin sister missed oppertunity m8



#13 Travis Uchonela

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 12:26 AM

It's nice to finally have someone on this forum that knows how to post. Welcome Alex. Please continue.

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#14 Agathor

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Posted 08 August 2014 - 07:29 PM

Good reading as always Alex.



#15 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 08 August 2014 - 11:34 PM

I saw a fat girl at the mall the other day and wanted to have sex with her. Wanna lick that belly. Wanna dick that belly. Not typically into fatties but man that chick.



#16 Agathor

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 08:29 AM

You need to give out clompoints for peeps posting in your thread.



#17 stronke

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 10:50 AM

you miss having a rep system don't you buddie?



#18 Daruna

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 11:21 AM

Too bad it's not coming to zulu so u can stop reminiscing ok

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image



"You see that nigga turnin', You feel the bullet burnin', Nigga now you learnin'." - Duke Martin Luther King Jr, in his speech Brave New World
(7:16:42 PM) richterenderas:
dirk_action is a perpetuator of the socialist cause and a powerful ak-47 wardancer

#19 Venetian Tar

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 11:32 AM

I thought I'd hate life without rep but I find myself posting more here (much to the horror of everyone who bothers to read a single post) than anywhere else now.



#20 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 01:01 PM

you miss having a rep system don't you buddie?

Not really. After killing rep the second time I got sick of the rep circlejerks and declined to participate in any of them. I'd love a rep system where people generally only repped for posts that they legitimately liked or disliked but thats not what we had at K and not what we'd have here.



#21 Agathor

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 02:13 PM

I am good with no rep system now. Splodie would crush us again np.



#22 Don Peyote

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 02:44 PM

i wouldnt crush you if i could fc
[21:41:43] <<pitts>> theres no reason for me to be a shill when apple sells itself

#23 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 03:54 PM

Maybe I will bring back Clompoints under the old rules (given out for posting in one of my threads OR replying to me in another thread.)



#24 Venetian Tar

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 04:01 PM

Maybe I will bring back Clompoints under the old rules (given out for posting in one of my threads OR replying to me in another thread.)

 

Shut up, faggot.



#25 Venetian Tar

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 04:02 PM

Does that count for a clom point?



#26 Agathor

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 05:25 PM

You need a avatar Alex. Please fix, tia.



#27 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 08:26 PM

I have chosen to represent myself as a noble and majestic creature of the forrest.



#28 Travis Uchonela

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 09:54 PM

Too bad it's not coming to zulu so u can stop reminiscing ok


Didn't we have rep for like an hour once?

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#29 Agathor

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Posted 10 August 2014 - 12:53 AM

I have chosen to represent myself as a noble and majestic creature of the forrest.

Wise choice old friend. I decided to change mine too.



#30 Jinxit

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Posted 10 August 2014 - 06:35 AM

Didn't we have rep for like an hour once?

 

for april fools a year ago


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#31 Agathor

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 01:22 AM

Some nice reading. Abit long but full of good info about the Mongols and Bagdad.

 

http://www.newyorker...4/25/invaders-3



#32 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 22 August 2014 - 04:21 AM

I dove last evening and found... toys!



#33 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 02:52 AM

I think I'm fucked at work. The place pulls up and leaves in four months (thirty minutes in the wrong direction, oh boy what an awesome move!) and I got fucked out of a promotion that, based solely on work output, should have been mine. Cuddle Corp isn't the place for me- it never was- and only now have I manned up to the fact. Its been fun but its time to begin the search a-new.



#34 Wusti

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 03:06 AM

Clom - its always better to come to that realisation BEFORE they come to it.

 

Also - not all change is bad mate, good luck finding something more engaging and rewarding.


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#35 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 30 August 2014 - 10:32 PM

Was driving around today and came across a "Who is John Galt?" sign. This post would have been better with pictures.



#36 Travis Uchonela

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Posted 30 August 2014 - 10:56 PM

Was driving around today and came across a "Who is John Galt?" sign. This post would have been better with pictures.


Once in college my girlfriend and I were getting on a bus when a hipster with a "who is john galt" shirt on got off the bus. She asked me "who IS john galt?" When we're getting on the bus. When I told her loudly he was a famous communist the guy started screaming at me and running after the bus trying to argue with me through the window.

And that retard's name? Albert Einstein. True story.

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#37 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 31 August 2014 - 05:45 PM

I had a dream where I went to New York and lived a Bohemian lifestyle with lots of friends. It was a good dream, if only it were real. Maybe it is?



#38 larowin

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 03:15 PM

That's a pretty good dream.  Pretty much impossibru to do the bohemian thing in NYC unless you have a time machine or a trust fund these days.


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#39 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 13 September 2014 - 06:56 PM

A poem for the women of Eve~!

 

I want to have sex

But not with you

Because you are ugly

And smell of poo



#40 Wusti

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Posted 14 September 2014 - 02:50 AM

A poem for the women of Eve~!

 

I want to have sex

But not with you

Because you are ugly

And smell of poo

 

Tennyson eat your heart out.


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#41 Daruna

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Posted 14 September 2014 - 09:24 AM

so beautiful

 

a poem for the ages


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"You see that nigga turnin', You feel the bullet burnin', Nigga now you learnin'." - Duke Martin Luther King Jr, in his speech Brave New World
(7:16:42 PM) richterenderas:
dirk_action is a perpetuator of the socialist cause and a powerful ak-47 wardancer

#42 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 14 September 2014 - 05:47 PM

Well I beat (word conquested) that Crusader Kings II game that I'd been playing on and off for a few months. I really want to move on to HI or EU but I think I own an out of date version of EU and it just looks soooooooooooooo ugly. For HI I load it up and am presented with the various flags but not having a particular interest in playing any of those countries I immediately quit to desktop. Any advice. I've played enough CKII that I am bored of its map, though I like the mechanics and have played a bit of Vicky too. I adore how detailed the map is but hate the province system, how hard it is to actually conquer large swathes of historically inaccurate territory, etc.



#43 Ingen

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 02:24 PM

CK2 is pretty unique among Paradox titles.  No other game is quite like it.  Even though I've played way more EU4, I think I'd have to say CK2 is overall the better game.  EU4 there's literally nothing to do but paint the map and the devs have come out and said that yeah that's pretty much what they intend for the game to be.  CK2 has so many more layers.  If you get bored, it's always fun to add some restrictions to yourself, e.g. roleplay according to your character's traits.  Another play I've seen is Quantum Leap (as in the show of the same name) where every time your character dies, you save, back out, and random into a new dude.


공산주의가 이길 것이다.

 

Spoiler

#44 Daruna

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 09:19 AM

Well I beat (word conquested) that Crusader Kings II game that I'd been playing on and off for a few months. I really want to move on to HI or EU but I think I own an out of date version of EU and it just looks soooooooooooooo ugly. For HI I load it up and am presented with the various flags but not having a particular interest in playing any of those countries I immediately quit to desktop. Any advice. I've played enough CKII that I am bored of its map, though I like the mechanics and have played a bit of Vicky too. I adore how detailed the map is but hate the province system, how hard it is to actually conquer large swathes of historically inaccurate territory, etc.

 

hearts of iron is fun

 

play as yugoslavia see if you can beat my high score

 

 

Spoiler


Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image



"You see that nigga turnin', You feel the bullet burnin', Nigga now you learnin'." - Duke Martin Luther King Jr, in his speech Brave New World
(7:16:42 PM) richterenderas:
dirk_action is a perpetuator of the socialist cause and a powerful ak-47 wardancer

#45 Daruna

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 09:19 AM

i promptly got fucked by germany after that


Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image



"You see that nigga turnin', You feel the bullet burnin', Nigga now you learnin'." - Duke Martin Luther King Jr, in his speech Brave New World
(7:16:42 PM) richterenderas:
dirk_action is a perpetuator of the socialist cause and a powerful ak-47 wardancer

#46 Ingen

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 02:17 PM

LEBENSRAUM


공산주의가 이길 것이다.

 

Spoiler

#47 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 19 September 2014 - 07:34 AM

CC news!

 

So in the past two weeks or so four of us have submitted resignations and another 4 have basically admitted that they have given up on ever advancing at the company. The move looms large in the background and combined with the fact that a bunch of the best workers are being given unclear, possibly deliberately so, responses from those in charge an unusual atmosphere of tension has settled in on what likes to think of itself as the happiest place on earth. Welcome to Cuddle Hell.

 

It doesn't matter, there's a bunch of kids lined up to replace us who haven't noticed the bullshit yet, there is an in-crowd which is just fine with all this and there are some dummies who haven't even noticed anything yet. But to be fairI feel a bit of sympathy for those in charge. They made a few promises that turned out to be impossible, had some stuff come along so quick that there was no way to avoid or prepare for it and honestly with two exceptions I can see why they made every hiring decision they did. What did they expect though? They took a bunch of college graduates and bleeding hearts, gave them under-employment with poor hours but the possibility of advancement and then had them spend the whole cycle watching as those above gave each other promotions without a single person being snatched off the floor. We're not desperate bums, we'll leave if the job looks like a dead end (and a lot of us are currently doing so.)



#48 Alex Clomsaver

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Posted 27 September 2014 - 12:20 AM

Jesus fucking Christ, why did I admit to this one. I mean its funny as fuck but wow.


Edited by Alex Clomsaver, 09 June 2015 - 03:07 AM.


#49 Don Peyote

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Posted 27 September 2014 - 12:55 AM

we still get popcorn chicken here, but i think it's only in the bucket things. I never really liked kfc though, i love the seasoning but the meat itself is just really wet and bland


[21:41:43] <<pitts>> theres no reason for me to be a shill when apple sells itself


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